Imagine my surprise: an otherwise quiet evening at home turned magical with flickering candles, scattered rose petals and my boyfriend Tom down on one knee.

The proposal was intimate and perfect, but unlike the proposal, the ring was not a surprise.

It was exactly the ring I always wanted: an oval solitaire diamond in yellow gold with four prongs, designed by me. And it was (and still is) flawless.

I love my engagement ring. It is elegant, timeless and exactly what I had in mind. But it wasn’t just luck; it was a decision I made.

I refused to let my boyfriend surprise me with an engagement ring, and you should do the same.

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Some women don’t mind how their engagement ring looks, and I support that of course. But I do mind, and maybe you do too.

When Tom and I started talking about getting engaged, I knew exactly what I wanted my ring to look like. I had worked in the jewelry industry for years and had spent countless hours designing and researching rings, understanding the nuances of design and gemstone selection. An engagement ring is more than just a piece of jewelry; it is the most important thing I will ever wear.

Of course, I took control of the ring design process and it became more of a collaborative experience with Tom rather than a solo decision that he oversaw. Here’s why you should take this approach too.

The pitfalls of the surprise ring.

Unless your partner can read minds, chances are the ring he or she chooses won’t suit your taste.

Imagine the proposal — a time of love and joy — tinged with disappointment because the ring isn’t quite right. It might be too flashy, too plain, or just not your style. Returning or exchanging an engagement ring can be awkward at best and impossible at worst if it’s custom-made.

Whether you’re taking the lead or working with your partner, designing your own ring can eliminate this risk entirely. It ensures that the symbol of your commitment is something you truly love, and for me, it added an extra layer of joy to the proposal.

The ring was perfect, as was the moment. I felt understood and appreciated because Tom respected my wishes enough to let me take the reins.

A more personal piece.

One advantage of designing your own ring is that you can incorporate elements that have special meaning to you as a couple, making the ring uniquely yours. It’s more than just a store-bought ring; it’s a carefully crafted piece that tells a story.

My four-pronged yellow gold oval solitaire is not just a beautiful ring; it is a reflection of my style and the journey of my relationship. This design ultimately took us on a whole new journey when we launched it as the first ring design in my company, The Moissanite Company — “The Luise Ring,” named after my great-grandmother. Not to mention, the entire experience has become one of our most shared cherished memories.

Does taking away the surprise take away the romance?

If Tom had checked the design of the ring, it would probably have been a completely different shape, in the wrong metal and the wrong size. I believe the romance is in the thought and effort that went into making sure the ring is perfect for you. Tom’s proposal was still a beautiful surprise, full of love.

Instead of being a wild card, the ring was a guaranteed hit. It was one less thing to worry about in a moment that was meant to be purely joyful.

Makayla on her wedding day, overjoyed with her engagement ring and wedding band. Image: Supplied.

I found taking control of the ring design process empowering and reinforced the idea that my preferences and desires mattered. For others, I would say it’s about claiming your right to have a say in something so deeply personal.

An engagement ring is not just a piece of jewelry.

It’s all about designing a symbol of your love that you will cherish forever.

So make sure you take the lead in designing your engagement ring. Don’t leave something so important to chance. Make it an experience by choosing a jeweler who supports you and works with you and your partner to get all the elements of your dream ring right.

Make sure it’s a piece you’ll cherish forever, one that perfectly embodies your style and unique story. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Ultimately, the most important thing was that Tom wanted me to be happy. He understood that by letting me design the ring, he was giving me a symbol of our love that was truly perfect. And that is the kind of thoughtfulness that makes the experience truly special.

For more from Makayla, visit her company The Moissanite Company here.

Main image: Delivered.

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