When it comes to lasting love, Harry Connick Jr. and his wife, Jill Goodacre Connick, have one rule: There are no rules.

“We trust each other, we love each other, we communicate,” Harry said People. “But when you say it’s a rule, it’s almost like we have to stick to it. That’s not really how we roll.”

“We wake up every day and we are grateful for each other. We try to be good parents and good husbands to each other,” he continued.

The two-time Emmy winner and his wife are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary this year. And their relationship is stronger than ever as they prioritize each other and their three daughters, Georgia, 28, Kate, 26, and Charlotte, 22. They also strive to maintain their “lifestyle” rather than paying attention to what works for others.

“It’s different for everyone,” he said of love and marriage. “Certain things that work for us might not work for others, but we don’t really like rules.”

Harry Connick Jr. doesn’t like to give advice

This mentality makes Harry Connick Jr. cautious and not give his daughters too much advice when they are looking for a life partner.

“I think we’ve tried to set a good example… I’m not an advisor,” he noted. “‘Hey, what do you think about this?’ I could tell them, but I’ve always found that giving advice, especially unsolicited advice, tends to make people shy away.”

The independence Day star said he and Jill raised their daughters to have “self-esteem” and “make good decisions,” so he hopes they’ll be confident enough to live their lives without too much input from others.

“I think they’ll (make good decisions),” he shared. “So if they need us, they’ll come (to us). But it’s not like, ‘Make sure you communicate’ or ‘Find someone you can laugh with all the time.’ That’s just not my thing.”

The main image for this story is by Noam Galai/Getty Images for New York Magazine.